Welcome to Pigdump!
October 23, 2000
Might as well go for soda.
Camping Campaign 2000

North America is buzzing with election fever. Man oh man, I can hardly sleep at night! And even though on both sides of the border there is no one we trust, no one with a single shred of leadership ability, it doesn't stop us from filling a page with top quality Camping Campaign 2000 excitement.

If any candidate wants to tap the Pigdump voter base (and when you've said that, you've said a mouthful) we've got a little primer for him/her. If any or all of the following issues, solutions, promises are part of a candidate's platform, Pigdump will deliver free advertising to that campaign:

  1. People driving SUV's (Viagra Vans, Sport Fertility Vehicles) pay an additional 30% at the pumps.
  2. Concert/event seating determined by height (short people get tickets at the front and so forth...)
  3. Quotas on Boy Bands - 1 per country.
  4. Sidewalk tax on punks/thugs/hoodlums ne'er-do-wells.
  5. Product recall on potato chips that promise 250 g of crunchy goodness and you open up the bag and it's half frickin' air!
  6. Immediate imprisonment for
    • horking and/or spitting in public
    • using leverage as a verb
    • using a very loud voice on the subway or in the lobby or on a cell phone discussing the deep meaning of Fight Club...well all Edward Norton films come to think of it
    • smoking
  7. Television Networks get a tax break for ridding the airwaves of infomercials (death penalty if they continue religious programming.)
  8. Pantsless Fridays.
  9. A Sony Playstation 2 in every home at Christmas -- guaranteed!
Thanks and good luck.
From September 27, 2000:
These are a few of my favourite things More.

From September 26, 2000:
Tom Hanks, who's paying your bills? Do you have a free AOL account? Are all your packages FedEx'ed gratis? Do you sleep at night? More.

From October 13, 2000:
These days we are being offered solutions for everything from internet commerce to halitosis. "Scope, your bad-breath solution!" More.

From October 2, 2000:
What if the Sopranos ran the Pigdump production meeting? More.

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