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October 13, 2000
I let the dogs out.
Little things that are bugging me these days - Part 3: Solutions

This is what my handy little pocket dictionary says:

solution: | se'loosh'n | n. solving or means of solving a problem or difficulty

So a solution implies a problem, a difficulty, an impasse you need to get around. These days, however, we are being offered solutions for everything from internet commerce to halitosis. "Scope, your bad-breath solution!" Please stop.

For one thing, a solution isn't an answer to a need. When e-enabled company 'A' offers an e-commerce solution for your every need, they are full of crap. You don't have a problem so you don't need a solution -- their solution -- for goodness sake! You are doing just fine without 'em so why buy into it?

Halitosis wasn't even a word until some Proctor and Gamble or Johnson and Johnson genius said "let's get people worried about their breath, make it sound like a medical problem and offer them a product that will solve it... we'll corner the market and make lots and lots of money!" And we bought into it. Just brush your teeth, darnit!

You see, this is what companies are doing these days to create their vision (read: how can we make more money than the other guy?): target an untapped market... make one up if you have to... bombard the public with the "problem" and offer your product as the only solution. I may be sick.

And then there are needs. Let's think about that one, okay? We need air to breathe, water to drink, shelter, care when we're unwell. Now it seems to me that if there were as much hype, as much hoopla, as much chic in finding solutions to these basic needs as there is for solving those critical (read: non-existent) e-business, wireless, digital delivery needs, Cisco would have cleaned up Walkerton's water - ING would make health care efficient and accessible - IBM and Oracle would be housing people instead of e-commerce enabled websites.

Or is it just me?
From September 27, 2000:
These are a few of my favourite things More.

From September 26, 2000:
Tom Hanks, who's paying your bills? Do you have a free AOL account? Are all your packages FedEx'ed gratis? Do you sleep at night? More.

From October 11, 2000:
Whether it's my genes, my metabolism or just because it seems to be pick on Trish's fat cells season, things drop; things bulge; things swell; and things suck. More.

From October 2, 2000:
What if the Sopranos ran the Pigdump production meeting? More.

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