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Pigdump's rules of the road
Part 2: "Oh for goodness sake!"
by Trish Thornton
 Okay, here's a big generalization: drivers don't respect cyclists, cyclists don't respect pedestrians, and pedestrians always win in court.That said, there is only one set of rules, and if everyone followed 'em, there'd be no need for cutting edge investigative road rage primers on fine Content Vortals like Pigdump. And when you've said that, you said a mouthful. Oh for goodness sake! Get to the goods! Right. If you remember nothing else as you race along the streets of the biggest city in Upper Canada -- and let me just say right now, there is no bloody centre of the universe Upper Canada Uber Alles thing going on here; Hogtown is simply a metaphor, an analogy, a test case, a guinea pig, a template for all the fine cities towns and villages in this fine country -- remember these 3 things:
- When riding your bike in big city streets, assume every parked car is going to open its driver side door. The first car you aren't prepared for will be an environmentally unfriendly Sports Fertility Vehicle owned by some freak with 2 Golden Retrievers in the back who decides at that moment to open his door and empty his ash tray, thus sending your sorry ass over the charcoal tinted window and your mother to the lawyer. And you know how THAT can hurt!
- When walking towards your street car stop (I know I know, frickin' Upper Canada again!) remember the Golden Rule. Look both ways before you traipse out against a red light cuz you see that number 504 coming and you just can't miss it. There may be no car coming, but have you double checked for that vulnerable bike coming toward the intersection? The cyclist sees the
green light and knowing he/she has the right of way continues on and... CRACK! Please oh please obey the Golden Rule.
When driving on one of the fine streets in your hometown, on one of those rarer than rare streets that (GASP!) actually has a bike lane, try to remember that it IS a bike lane; not lovers' lane - not moving van lane - not just checking the map lane - not stopping at the Beckers for smokes lane. It's a rare bike lane and unless you want your fine paint job keyed or your windshield cracked GET THE FUCK OUT!
Ummm... I think I've said enough for now (thank goodness my mum's on vacation!) And really, it's not all about bicycles... come back tomorrow and see for yerself!
Part 1 - Part 2- Part 3 - Part 4
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