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Pigdump's rules of the road
Part 3: "The dope."
by Trish Thornton
 Okay, fellow cyclists, listen up. I know how you all love the chance to yell at a stupid pedestrian who just walked out onto the street into your path and spit on you for no reason, or the chance to yell at a Chocolate Lab owner in a Viagra Van after he rolled through a 4-way stop just missing your back fender.Well here's the dope, campers. Unless you obey all the rules of the road, you will never have the right to yell at anyone. I mean, if you're not coming to a full stop at one of those Forest Hill 4-ways then you have no right to diss that Russell Hill hotty on the cell phone in his Jag as he cuts you off in a puff of leather and CK4Men. And if you're hopping on and off the sidewalk to avoid a line-up at a "no right on red" zone with no regard to the Rosedale dowager taking her daily constitution, then consider yourself nicked!
Come on, kids! Cyclists who think they are immune to the roolz of the rode are giving the rest of us a bad rep. If you want to be respected as a viable vehicle (weren't the Viable Vehicles a hot British Bisexual haircut band circa 1984?) then start behaving like one! Jeeze! Then maybe the dumbasses in Corollas and crackheads in Doc Martins will give you a break. Cuz the thing is, cars'll kill ya, pedestrians'll sue ya so you better make 'em all as happy as you possibly can. Umm, that's it for now.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4
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