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Calling Stephen Dedalus... Monday July 17, 2000

Pigdump's rules of the road
Part 4: The lightning round.
by Trish Thornton

all those things to think aboot...Look left before you cross the street (look right if you're in one of those wrong side of the street countries.)

A bicycle is a road vehicle and must act like a car.

The bicycle is a road vehicle and should be treated as such by other cars.

Signal all the time.

Cars are going to turn right without signalling so when you're edging your bike up towards the intersection on the right side of a line of cars, one of them is going to turn into you as you cross. So just look out!

If you're crossing with a cross walk, get off your bike and walk or you have no right to use this handy little road feature.

Get out of the frickin' bike lane unless you're a bike!

If you're on the sidewalk to avoid a dangerous part of the road (there are underpasses in the biggest city in Upper Canada where the sidewalk is up higher than the road... and if you're on the road and a car nicks you or forces you over, there's no sidewalk to fall on... you just bounce off a concrete wall back into traffic and let's face it, that's just ugly, man!) respect the pedestrians you're invading... they have a right to be there, you are just visiting, and let's face it, if you slow down and maybe even get OFF your bike for that short time you're side-by-each, maybe the rules of the road will change allowing us on sidewalks in certain situations and the cops trying to reach their ticket quota will lay off you.

A car can kill a bike.

A car can kill a pedestrian.

A bike/pedestrian collision could kill someone... at the very least it can be quite painful.

No matter how careful you are, someone else is going to be an idiot on the road. Expect him/her at every turn.

Get off your frickin' cell phone!

If you're on a bike, wear a helmet.

Don't "double" anyone on your seat, handlebars or back fender.

Don't carry bags of groceries over your handlebars that sway back and forth causing you to steer very badly.

When you're driving past a person on a bike, don't honk your horn to let them know you're there or honk your horn to tell 'em to get out of the way; the HONK can startle someone on a bike who is concentrating very hard on the road and an unnecessary tumble may occur.

When a cyclist uses their bell or whistle or horn, don't turn and spit on them or throw cigarette butts on them or scream at them, they are just trying to make sure the drivers and pedestrians around them know that they're there cuz when drivers and pedestrians don't bother thinking they're there or caring that they are part of the road, the results can be tragic. These are no joyriding, noisemaking freaks, they are trying to help everyone survive.

Bike couriers are a different story and your average commuting cyclist should not be compared to these joyriding, noisemaking freaks of the road. And if you're angry at a courier who hopped 2 lanes, weaved in and out of rush hour traffic at the corner of Lawyerland and Banktower, don't take it out on a bike commuter who is just trying to get to and from work safely. (Bicycle couriers could be a whole different Pigdump feature, don't you know!)

Anything to add? Let us know by sending an e-mail to roadster@pigdump.com and we'll update this helpful checklist.

Thanks and good luck.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Tomorrow: Something in the mail.


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everything I know ...continued 159. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

160. Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine are sisters.
to be continued...


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