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Holiday critters

"Six years ago, kids were doing okay,
they could have been a bit smarter,
but hell, our society watches
Temptation Island."
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March 3, 2003

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Spam spam spam spam...
I went away for the weekend. A nice, snowy, cozy cottage escape. When I got back to the big city, the mood changed, the temperature shifted and I walked into a techno nightmare. My mailbox had been sabotaged! edward and vincent
You see, when you're a high profile Top Quality Content™ creator like I am, one who welcomes feedback through various catchy e-mail addresses, before long you get your mailbox spammed beyond all recognition. If that is at all possible.

I was away from the computer for under 48 hours and my mailbox was full of spam. Not so lovely spam. 260 missives that passed through all my filters. Sigh.

As I was chucking all the unwanted dreck into the trash, I pictured the person I would be if I were to open and believe what they were telling me:

With the viagra, I'd make all the women happy, especially after the penis enhancer was in place. And I'd be smart, really smart; I'd have a degree from a respected university without studying - in fact I'd have 2! And as I ate pizza and drank beer, I'd be losing 22 pounds. 22 pounds by eating everything I wanted! But the 22 pounds might come back as another secret formula is giving me enormous breasts. They're so big they won't even fit into a picture! So it's a good thing I never have to worry about inkjet cartridges anymore. That's a load off. I never realized how critical the inkjet cartridge was, now I have a life-time supply to take pictures of my ample bosom. Though I spend so much time at the Online Casino, that I rarely have the opportunity to print any pictures. But the thing that allows me to sleep at night is the fact that my septic tank is in tip top shape. Oh yes, because I somehow got on the septic tank mailing list, my tank is state-of-the-art. Which is a good thing since I'm eating pizza all the time. If you know what I mean.

Thanks and good luck.

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