Once upon a time there was a bank that had some great slogans: "You can count on the (bank name here)", and "(bank name here): get us working for you." Recently, the bank's slogan is "Smart, simple solutions." (there's that word again.) We sent an employee in undercover to find out what the solutions looked like. The results aren't pretty.

Here's a scenario: a customer pays a bill online, receives confirmation, a reference number and a telephone-banking phone number. Sounds good so far. Later, the customer realizes he paid too much and wants to make a change. He retrieves the confirmation number and calls the telephone banking centre. Guess what? The confirmation number means absolutely nothing to the telephone banker. "We use a different tracking system than the Online Channel does."

Smart? Simple? Just wait.

The customer then wants to apply for a line of credit online. Turns out he lives in a province where he's not allowed to perform that task online. He gets the telephone banking number again and calls. The person at the help centre tells him he'll have to go to the branch to get his line of credit fulfilled. Well guess what? The three branches in his neighbourhood are being amalgamated into one in a new location - five kilometers away!

The smart simple solution? Go orange.

Umm, that's all. (I might get sued.)