Leopold Bratislav, Pigdump's associate-cum-philosopher-cum-psychologist took one look at the music list presented last week and just couldn't shut up about it. He interprets our soundtrack selection on oh-so-many levels, that, well, we thought it was quasi Top Quality Content™. Here are his thoughts:

• The product manager in me wants to perform statistical analysis so that we can compute your product life cycle
• The marketer in me wants to use it in an advertising campaign. For what, we have no idea
• The engineer in me wants to know what media you prefer for burning your ill-gotten gains.
• The musician in me wants to know if you can identify the instruments on those songs and whether you play any other air-instruments.
• The marketer in me pushes to the surface with a new concept for mass communications. We shove him back under with the comment that Al Gore invented the internet (a lie, but hey we have to use any method to control the damn marketers)
• The doctor in me is concerned about your ears. I hope you keep the volume down and orient the speakers effectively.
• The educator in me hopes that this experience helps you do well on your SATs. You are going to university aren't you?
• The mechanic in me wants to pull your turntable apart and shine a fluorescent light at the calibration ring. Most of us love it when those little black marks seem to stop, even though we know they're spinning at 33 1/3 rpm (or 45 or 78, depending on just what you've got the speed dial set to).
• The computer geek in me wants*
• The Libertarian in me hopes and (well, doesn't) pray that you were able to purchase your blank CD in the USA and avoid paying that media tax (that quite likely never benefits any musician as it travels through Jean Chrétien's ledger book, getting distracted into endeavours like funding the Auberge Grand-Mère or new government jets (that never went through the tender process!)). I'm not bitter, really.
• The lover in me skips over titles like, well, none of them.
• The business analyst in me tries to determine the NPV of the investment in LP's. Can you submit authenticated receipts for the LP purchases so that I can start to use my Open Office spreadsheet and develop a model that will yield some nice pictures. Mmm. Nice pictures. Have you seen the picture of the nice young lady attending the Australian Open? Mmm. Nice pictures.
• The aggressive driver in me scans frantically for tunes that would rotate frequently on Q107
• The sporty driver in me averts my gaze, as no true driver would want anything to obscure the gestalt driving experience.
• The family taxi driver in me just wants to get home so I can have a brew in the backyard.
• The humanist in me admires the sensitive, well-rounded list of musicians and subjects.
• The optimist in me is pretty damn sure that this is the best playlist around
• The marketer in me just got punched again. He's starting to cry. Oh shit, what are we gonna do with that idiot.
• The inner child (obviously in me) whimpers and curls back into a fetal position, terrified by the crowd dynamics around such a trivial subject.

*It may be that the computer geek is partial autistic (as is suggested in Silicon Valley) and therefore just sort of drifted off into solving polynomial equations in his mega and yet slightly different brain.
 

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