Lucky for me, Pigdump has a solid, well-read fan base, and one such fan has written in to help me get the damn thing right! So if you'll allow a one-day departure from the standard original TQC, here's a letter from someone who signs his name Gorsht:

In the spirit of acknowledging the Things Trish Knows, I might be able to help a bit with the "etymology" of the word wiener. It is a German qualifier.

Given the vast number of sausage types in that part of the world, they, like the Eskimos did for 'snow,' needed more description to make the language adequate to the task of conveying meaning.
Examples of this include the following:

• Bratwurst: The sausage ("wurst") made from the flesh and offal of disobedient children. It is believed that an early name for this type of sausage was the "Hanselundgretelwurst"
• Knackwurst: This was an import from the small Polish village of Mysharona. The village itself actually was famed for producing dozens of varieties of wurst, but this was the only one that really caught on...
• Bierwurst: This should require little explanation, but it is worth noting that this is the least recommended type for Oktoberfest feasts, mainly due to the already extant perils of mixing beer, sauerkraut and beer-free sausages.
• And finally, the Wiener: a contraction of Wienerwurst, which is not, as one might expect, a sausage made of some poor bastard's sausage, but rather one that was popular in Vienna (in German, "Wien.") The same structure may be observed in the words "Hamburger," "Frankfurter" and "Berliner," a fact that JFK was obviously not apprised of when he made a complete ass of himself that time.

Tomorrow: One toke over the line.
 

... continued 53. The maple leaf is the symbol of Canada, even though maple trees don't grow in most parts of the country.

54. Bob is a palindrome. So is Hannah.
to be continued...

"Side-splitting weekly fare."
Charles Brown

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