WARNING: The following story is not for the faint of heart.Once upon a time there was girl who was living her dream in Orillia, Ontario. In the summer of 1975, she was working in the concession booth at the local drive-in. What could be more perfect for a smart young thing who saw her future as a director in Hollywood?
Well. One Tuesday night during a double bill of "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore" and "Blazing Saddles," the June bugs did their thing. You know what that means... they hatch en masse one night, float around, clicking their daft wings, landing on anything that isn't moving (the sound of them clicking/bouncing off bike helmets is really quite orchestral) and then they kind of wiggle around, trying to fly again -- of course they can't -- so they sit wherever they've landed until they die. Which is what they did in the concession booth. The young girl living her dream spent the entire night flicking the darn beetles off the grill, scooping them out of the French fry grease and keeping them out of the customers' popcorn boxes.
And that's when the health inspectors came in. Really. They fired her sorry ass on the spot. "But sir, this is an act of God. No doubt the locusts are next and Lake Couchiching will turn into a river of blood. Shouldn't you be worried about Armageddon instead of grub-central?" The man was nonplussed and the girl's Hollywood hopes ended in an entomologist's wet dream.
Now look up at the picture at the top of your computer screen. Imagine hundreds - nay - thousands of those little beasts descending on that poor young thing one starry night in Orillia. How could someone so young recover from that horror? To be fired at the age of 15 for something she could not control?
Well, you'll be happy to know that because of that freak of nature, that twist of fate, the young girl saw the future, and it wasn't celluloid, it was Pigdump!
