So this is how it ends: chained to a rock for all eternity as this pesky eagle gnaws on my liver. And for what? Giving man fire? Letting them eat all the good cuts of the animal before they give us the messy bits for a sacrifice? Why do we need sirloin steak, leg of lamb, pig tenderloin? We're Gods, for frick sake Zeus! We don't eat anything!

But alas, the old geezer chained me here 'til the end of time. "Prometheus, you care too much for mankind." Zeus's last words to me. What an ultra-maroon! And don't get me started about Pandora! THAT'S ON YOUR HEAD YOU OLD FRICKIN' POOP!

Oh good gravy, this liver-pecking eagle gives me worse heartburn than the turbo sauerkraut sausage surprise they serve just own the footpath -- I know, we don't eat, but I just had to try it once! Urp.

Well, I hope you're not disappointed. Not every story has a happy ending. If we didn't give you a tragedy every now and then, how could you enjoy Happy Gilmore or Dumb and Dumber? So leave me here while I die forever, only to never die, to suffer this infernal peck peck pecking until... oh hang on a minute, here comes Hercules. Never mind.
 

A year ago on Pigdump: And next thing you know, your groceries are picking up sand and spittle from the pavement as your "biologically friendly" CANVAS BAG is dragging on the ground! More.		From December 20, 2000: Eternal questions in the Tao of Pigdump. More. From December 18, 2000: Pigdump rates the shows of the festive season. More.		Archives Sept 00 - Oct 00 - Nov 00 Dec 00 - Jan 01 Old Pigdump Archives Aug 99 - Sept 99 - Oct 99 Nov 99 - Dec 99 - Jan 00 Feb 00 - Mar 00 - April 00 May 00 - June 00 - July 00 Aug 00 - Sept 00