yes, it says
Epiphany, the Y2K edition Friday January 7, 2000

Well. Yesterday was Epiphany. Realization day, if you're into the bible or something secular like that. This year's epiphany in the Pigdump offices had a chilling theme: When Christmas Presents Go Bad. This is the story:

I gave a family member a popular videogame player called the Sony Playstation. This family member has a wife and 2 little girls aged 3.5 and 1.5. They enjoy watching me play video games when I come and visit so I thought it would be nice if they had a player of their own. Well. I got this e-mail last night, Epiphany, from the wife of the family member. This is what it said ... err, well, names have been changed to protect the innocent...:

CTRWe arrived home on December 28 and within 3 minutes of Swellin walking in the door, her first words were "play Crash racing???" We hadn't even unpacked the car and she was wanting to play that blasted game.

Needless to say we unpacked everything (only because we couldn't find the bag with the game discs) and immediately set up the Playstation and got the games going. Swellin was determined to get to play Crash Team racing. I was desperately trying to find the demo disc we had, thinking it was there but couldn't find it. Bub got fed up and threw his coat on and went out to see if he could buy the friggin' game. While he was out I realized that the demo of Crash team racing was on the Spyro disc and tried like crazy to try and decipher the instructions and be able to find it hidden on the disc. I finally found it and had a good go at the game. Of course Swellin became bored at that point so we put in Spyro and that was it, I was hooked.

Bub arrived home after hitting two malls and was unable to purchase the game anywhere, it was sold out. I later found the Pizza Hut demo disc on the bench in the kitchen, it had fallen off the table in our frenzied search of the house for it.

The next day Bub and I continued playing Spyro and it was then that we discovered just how evil the system was. In the short time we had played (ok it seemed short at the time, but it turned out to be an entire afternoon) Channa fell off the couch twice -- real headers into the floor (which she had never done before because we use to be attentive parents) and Swellin cut her finger, just a little cut but we couldn't tell you what it was she cut it on BECAUSE WE WEREN'T WATCHING !!!

As if things couldn't get much worse, during the next few days we did nothing but play Spyro and were doing quite well. We would play and enthusiastically save our performances on our memory card getting pretty cocky about it too. Here's our next problem. Swellin had us playing Crash 1, and Bub suggested I save my work so I went into the saving aspect of the game. That's when Channa stepped in and decided to play with the tv. I thought I was saving my Crash stuff into a new block but with Channa screwing around and blocking the tv (that's my story and I'm sticking to it) I saved my pitiful first Crash Bandicoot level over top all of our Spyro progress. I wasn't as peeved as Bub was (I hadn't been able to stay up until after midnight the nights before to play the stupid thing like he could) because he had completed a whole lot more than I had (served him right for bragging anyway !!) I'm going to buy myself my own memory card for my birthday.

I haven't played the game since. Bub though seems to be addicted and is playing well into the night and has apparently done quite well with Spyro and of course the Extreme II racing game. Bub and Swellin both have their favourite courses picked out and Channa now falls asleep on the love seat for her afternoon nap while the races are on.

Well, what else is new? I went back to work on Tuesday. Wednesday wasn't much better, I threw my neck out brushing my teeth. Maybe it was too much Playstation or perhaps it was having to move to Swellin's bed in the middle of the night when Bub and Swellin edged me out, again!! Wasn't too bad once I got some pain killers/muscle relaxants and a tube of Bengay. Two and a half weeks before my 34th birthday and I'm buying my first tube of Bengay, what a momentous occasion. You know you are approaching middle age when you start to think that maybe I should be keeping a tube of Bengay in the medicine cabinet, just in case...

What can I say? I'm a very bad person. I have learned my lesson. My own personal Epiphany. From now on, GIFT CERTIFICATES!!

Tomorrow: the Weekend Funnies

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everything I know ... continued 82. Though others may say a Rabbit Punch is when someone grabs your arm and keeps battering 10-50 times, simulating a rabbit jumping up and down.

83. Channa is an Indian bean, we in the west know it as the chick pea.
to be continued...

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