There are marketing companies in this big world that do nothing but create brands. But they aren't the brains behind well known brands like Chapters, The Gap or Nike... no, these clowns make up words and get their clients to buy 'em at great expense! Man people are making money doing ridiculous things these days!
It's the method they use that intrigues us at Pigdump. They have crack technical teams who build big engines that parse and manipulate the data fed into it by their pointy-headed brand architects and idea guys. Yes these important folks spend their days thinking a lot, then they get some intern to input their theories, random letters, Latin phrases and fortune cookie truths... and voilà! The world has Acura, Lucent, Compaq, Agilent, Verbex!
The Pigdump staff started getting a little nutty while researching this story, and we decided that Ikea isn't really Swedish, it's just a victim of this brand machine.
"Heh heh... let's feed it a moose... the Chinese word for pants... and the recipe for goat roti... heh heh." Thwappa thwappa thwappa... ARBOGA!
"Okay okay, my turn... let's try Mein Kampf... an ASCI version of this picture of my cat... and the number 42... heh heh." Thwappa thwappa thwappa... STEN!
"Oh that's so lame... try this... the guitar solo in Stairway to Heaven... 9 Coffee Crisp bars... and my ex's phone number... heh heh." Thwappa thwappa thwappa... IVAR!
"Man you are so on glue! This will be cool... instructions for installing Windows NT... Yankee Doodle Dandy in Latin... and yellow matted custard dripping from a dead dog's eye... heh heh." Thwappa thwappa thwappa... MOPPE!
Needless to say, we confiscated the 4-seater bong
