I seem to have a pant farm in my closet. Blue jeans, chinos, cords, khakis, black jeans, twills, cargo, gabardine, slim fit, comfort fit, ankle cut, straight leg. You name it, I've got it!

So are they multiplying, or is something afoot? I went into the closet to do a little research and here is what I found:

I am a wildly optimistic person.

You know when you're in your early thirties, you've just dealt with the fact that you need to upgrade and upsize your pant, skirt and trouser collection? I could live with it. In fact, my thirties were a breeze... until the end. More often than not, I would go out to dinner with friends, or eat a huge family roast dinner; but to get through dessert, I had to undo my pants. Not always a smart social move in public. Was it time to upsize, upgrade again? I ran the gamut of emotions: denial, anger, bargaining, depression... couldn't quite make it to the final stage...

Instead of throwing out all the old pantaloons, I decided to upgrade my fitness routine. The rationale being "I'll be able to fit into those pants again one day."

We all know how this story ends. You're in your early forties. You come from a long line of healthy, big-boned Scots and Irish-folk. And while you do have a good daily fitness routine, you know deep down that you ain't EVER gonna fit into them pants again! And there you have it, acceptance.

Thanks for your time and good luck.
 

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