...the Great Canadian Bully left me no choice.

I was in Ottawa this week. Yes, THAT Ottawa. The Asylum. The Loony Bin. The place we send our democratically elected representatives to take care of us. Maybe it was my fault. Should I have stayed in snowy Muskoka and not seen Neil Young in Kanata? (Stay tuned for more on Kanata in a future Pigdump. Oh my.)

A while ago, Prime Minister Steve (PMS) passed a bill — that makes it LAW, stupid! — that elections will have a fixed date. Four years, no sooner, no later. Well. He saw that he might lose some bi-elections, and saw that his main opponent was a smart yet sad, pathetic little fella who couldn't speak English well, and he called an election. We know what happened.

So...

Humbled by a minority, PMS started his new term quietly. There was hope among the 63% that did NOT vote for him, that PMS might do the right thing and put partisan politics aside and deal with the economic crisis. The crisis that didn't hit Canada as hard as other countries because of some forward-thinking governing by Prime Ministers Dithers and Cretin before him. In SPITE of PMS's silly vote grab to lop a couple of percentage points off the GST (boy those billions would come in handy now!)

Well.

He just couldn't leave it alone. Heir Harper and his Mike Harris crony, Jim Flabbergast, did not present one single solution, one single ray of hope to Canadians worried about their economic futures in the budget. In fact, they played partisan politics again and squeezed the parties who got 63% of the vote to the brink of extinction. Which was the final straw for the representatives of the 63%.

There is nothing more Canadian than "getting along." Compromise, peace keeping for the better good, the best interests of Canada as a guide. That's what the coalition of 63% of the elected representatives did. They gave Canada a chance to keep going forward, to lead us through tough economic times with no hidden political agenda. And while the thought of Celine Dion as temporary Prime Minister makes me wince, I know it was a plan thought out with the best intentions for Canada.

But no... PMS picked up his ball, carried it to the Governor General and said he wasn't gonna play with the 63% of the elected representatives who were gonna kick his sorry ass out of the PMO, and asked for perogies. She said "Okee dokee, PMS," so now we have NO LEADERSHIP through the toughest economic quarter of my lifetime! No government. No parliament. Nothing to ease my anxiety through the Christmas spending season. No plan. NOTHING!

PMS is such a child it's embarrassing. Don't play by his rules? He'll just take his ball or his game with him so nobody gets to play. But if he thinks he'll have an easier time of it at the end of January, he better think again. I'm hoping that the Liberals can get their house in order before then (the perogie actually saved the Liberals from offering up a lame duck embarrassing PM, falling in with Smilin' Jack and Gilles Cupcake and all that stuff...who would want to be Prime Minister in a recession anyway?)

Ummm, sorry for that little sidebar...

Anyway, here's what has to happen:

Bob Rae has to withdraw from the Liberal Leadership race. Face it, Bob, you play a mean piano, you're not afraid to swim naked with Rick Mercer, but people from Ontario still hate you. Oh sure, they'll give you a Cabinet seat, but they won't let you lead and you're KILLING your new party.

Ahem.

Celine Dion has to step down right away. Iggy Pop has to play nice and humbly take the helm. Smilin' Jack and the NDP have to give themselves a shake and realign their platform and values to present day (not 1950.)

And they all have to push that frickin' PMS bully to the edge and force an election so that at least 63% of us can feel like we're going in the right direction.

Thanks and good luck.

(Please don't sue me.)

P.S. Oh, and Madame GG, I'm totally unimpressed.

The end.