Oh for goodness sake!

You'd think Baby Jebus himself had come back and landed in the centre of the universe! Read the papers, listen to the radio, it's as if Barack Obama never happened and the world stood still until Brian Berk Burke came to Toronto.

We've heard about his travel itinerary. "He's in Boston now with his family...maybe he'll head to Toronto after his daughter's wedding!" We practically get a bulletin when the guy changes his hair gel or takes a dump.

If you only read or listen to Toronto media, you'd never know there was a global recession, or bombs and hostages in Mumbai. Nope, you'd be planning your Stanley Cup parade. Because the logic goes like this:

Step 1: Burke comes to Toronto as President of the Maple Leafs
Step 2: Burke cleans house
Step 3: Under the cap, Burke manages to get Sidney Crosby, Vince Lecavalier, Martin Brodeur and Chris Pronger (uh-huh)
Step 4: The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Cup™ in 2010.

As I said, give yourself a shake.

The man won one (count 'em) one Cup™ in California when he took over another builder's team. Unless he can strap 'em on and spray miracles out of his ass onto the ice, there is no guarantee a Cup™ will be in Toronto anytime soon. Really. What are you thinking?

Oh sure, Saint Bob Gainey went to Montreal and turned that team around. Their potential Cup-winning window is about two years...this year or next. Do you think they'll do it? Don't you think Detroit or San Jose or New York or Boston or Anaheim or Vancouver will have something to say about it?

Remember, this is Toronto. Where they raise Wendel Clark's banner to the rafters. Where given the chance, the fans would take Tie Domi back. Where the on-ice product is led by such glorious names as Jamal Mayers, Jeff Finger, Ian White.

So Berk Burke is the Maple Leaf President. Fine. Can we move on now to more entertaining - nay important - stories for a while? When the Leafs win the Cup™, that will be a story. But for now, anything but Burke!

Thanks and good luck.

(Please don't sue me.)