I never used to be a worry wart. Oh sure, when I was a live radio engineer I would have panic attacks and dreams about dead air (and ten years on, I still have dreams that I'm in the control room and either Shelagh or Peter or Lorna is waiting for me to press some button and all the controls have changed since I was there and I don't know what button to push or how to connect the cable right and then somehow the 444 Hz lineup tone goes out through the console and on air and I don't know how to turn it off and Shelagh or Peter or Lorna are all looking at me through the glass laughing...) but that's another story.

I think it's when I became a home-moaner. I had to worry about water tanks leaking, pumps and pipes not freezing, roof and insulation working hand in hand. And of course all that wood. And the cat. And the fridge and trees blowing onto hydro wires.

This Christmas, my family gave me gifts that celebrate my worried nature (yes, they're always good at hitting you where you're most vulnerable at Christmas time, remember this?) First, notecards about being a worry wart. I actually like these a lot, Roz Chast is one of my favourite cartoonists and I have JUST THE PERSON to send one to.

And then there's the page-a-day worst case scenario calendar. This is a treasure! All sorts of tips hints and survival strategies for those who prepare for the worst. Things like:

• How to Survive a Hit and Run


• How to Remove a Tick


• How to Survive Psychological Torture


• How to Find Water on a Deserted island

I think I'll share one of my favourites with you:

How to Preserve a Severed Finger, Hand or Limb

1. Gently wash the severed item with water. Wrap it in a moist clean cloth.


2. Wrap it once more in a water-tight material like a plastic bag.


3. Keep it cold BUT DO NOT FREEZE IT! A limb saved in this manner can remain viable for reattachment for up to six hours.

You're welcome.

Happy New Year.

Thanks and good luck.