Are you like me? Do you miss the NHL playoffs not one bit? Oh sure, I used to be a rabid hockey fan and seeing the Montreal Canadiens clean up every spring was a glorieux thing. Clearly that was a long time ago, when hockey was over before my birthday on May 18th (just in case you forgot and want to send me loads of gifts.)

But now, since those babies on both sides of the NHL divide have deprived of us our national game, we can all enjoy spring the way it's supposed to be enjoyed. By gardening, by watching the birds come back, by having a paddle on the clear lake at dusk.

Okay, there are all those season finales on the tube too - I can't TOTALLY stay away from the television!

The first great television thing about no hockey is, of course, the CBC programming. Four nights a week it's an hour of Coronation Street! Is there anything better than that? I should think not! And the great thing is, it's an hour long. Not the usual half hour. And you know what? An hour of television is all you need this time of year. It's on early enough that the sun hasn't set by the time it's over so you can still go outside and enjoy the evening.

And it doesn't bother me that "The Street" is not on on Thursday. Even those weasels in Parliament understand the importance of "Corrie," as Paul Martin's whiny plea to Canadians was on a Thursday, and so was the damn budget. Maybe the Liberals understand us after all...heh heh!

But the really great thing about not having hockey on TV is that I have not had to put up with every frickin' broadcaster mispronouncing Brother Joe Thornton's name. I was reminded of that when international hockey showed up on my NHL-free television and Joe was blowing away the competition. But make no mistake:

THORNTON DOES NOT RHYME WITH HORTON!!!! The American broadcasters get it right. CBC's Don Wittman is the only Canadian who gets it right. Back when Brother Lou Thornton played for the Blue Jays, broadcasters Don Chevrier and Tom Cheek got it right.

But baseball isn't hockey, and isn't sponsored by Tim Horton's.

I ask you, dumb-ass announcers, would you call Dany Heatley "Dany Healey"? Or Or Mats Sundin "Mats Sudin"? No! And the effort you take to get the right pronunciation for Maxim Afinogenov, Ville Nieminen and Petr Cajanek, yet you can't get THORNTON right???!!!

Okay. That is all. I'm going outside.

Thanks and good luck.