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January 31, 2004

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Blog THIS!

Our one line statement in yesterday's 'dump about not being a frickin' blog has inspired many responses. The clowns who wrote and said "Of course Pigdump is a blog, what else would you call it?" have all got contracts out on them and will be severely punished (or at least embarrassed publicly) in the near future.

But one missive full of thought, insight, fun, joy and even more insight came in and it's Top Quality. So we're going to share it with you:

not a frickin' blog!

Unsolved Mysteries
by Jason Wray

I consider myself to be a fairly hip, web-savvy type. I've created a handful of lousy personal web pages, delved into the obnoxious hacker language known as L33t, and yes, I've even said OMG. I chat, I game, I run my own online comic, and I blog. And in blogging, I read other blogs, whose authors frequent more still, as we begin to feed off of each other like some kind of symbiotic web-journalizing entity.

Of course, sometimes I like to step out for a breath of fresh air, the Pigdump way. Because, as the crack team over yonder will be quick to point out, it's not a blog! But this got me thinking. What IS this Pigdump, this sanctuary from the wastelands known as the world wide web? I resolved to find out. So, after weeks of gruelling research, intense study, and more than one close call with the chatrumes OMGLOL, I came up with the following results. Allow me to categorize, if you will.

Is it a…

Blog? No.
We already covered this. But allow me to make this distinct. A blog is where people go to talk about their day, post "memes", and do mindless surveys. Through this activity, everyone can be easily informed of every detail of the author's life without having to actually speak with them. Many people also choose to "rant" (read: bitch bitch bitch). But Jason, I hear you cry, Does not this site have these aforementioned outbursts of malcontent? Well…maybe sometimes. But they are more of an open letter to the irritants which plague us all, rather than some 14 year old kid talking about how much he hates his parents.

Personal Webpage? No.
Personal Webpages are those mass-produced Geocities wastelands, which usually tend to be blogs that don't get updated every 5 hours. Usually these are ill-designed, displeasing to the eye, usability devoid, and contain nothing more than useless information about the creator, and a list of fanfictions or pictures. I should know, I went through about five of these in my reckless youthful days. Ah, the memories.

Corporate Information Site? No.
Despite the wealth of Marketing information and Search Engine Optimization, this has nothing to do with the corporate bandwagon.

End result of screwing up the URL to CBC Sports? No.
CBC found out.

Pornography site? No.
I didn't think it was necessary to deal with this one, but there was some confusion in the populace regarding the promise of "You put Pigdump on your ass, we'll put your ass on Pigdump". The populace has been informed that it is not that bright.

Cat? No.
But it was. And that probably counts for something.

So, I can now see you scratching your heads, curious as to what our beloved site may be. Have I exhausted all options? Am I about to spring out and scream, "IT'S A TOP QUALITY CONTENT PRODUCING WEB ZONE", resulting in the creation of a new category and the subsequent lynching of the author of this article (and you know how much that can hurt)? Perish the thought. No, dear friends. The answer has been in front of us all along.

It's just a fricken' WEBSITE. Lighten up.


To Jason:
Thanks and good luck.
(Shouldn't you be studying?)

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