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October 6, 2003

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Whiskies of mass destruction

whisky vats

Imagine. You're a distiller on a little island off the west coast of Scotland. You've just recently re-awakened an historic whisky and you wanted the world to see. You had web cams installed throughout your operation so that whisky lovers around the world could see - and almost taste! - the peaty golden Bruichladdich being made. Old traditional distillery meets new global world.

And then you start getting emails from the state of Virginia. Some fella keeps telling you that one of your cameras is down and would you mind fixing it because we can't see anymore. Dutifully, you get to the bottom of the trouble and get all the web cams back in working order.

But you're intrigued. You trace the email back to its source, dig a little, and find out that it was sent from some company called DTRA. You did deeper and realize that the Defence Threat Reduction Agency, a US government department set up to safeguard America from chemical, biological, radiological and nuclear weapons of mass destruction, has been watching your distillery.

You ask them why they are watching your vats and they reply, "chemical weapons could be made using a process similar to distilling," and with no more than tweak, Scotland's distilleries could be producing something even more hazardous than whisky. Imagine.

This is a true story. It was in The Telegraph in Britain last week.

It's no wonder Americans can't find anything beyond a vial of Botox in Iraq because they're watching the Water of Life being brewed on the Isle of Islay. A wee dram might be more dangerous.

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