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Multiply this! Monday April 24, 2000

Everything's relative, don't you know...

e=mc2You know, I may be getting on in years: I have an increasing number of white hairs; the bags are getting deeper and deeper under my eyes; I sag a little here and there (who am I kidding, I sag a lot!); I find I have to take my glasses off like a geezer does to read the fine print or look at something small; I don't care that I stay in every night of the week; I think rap music sucks... I think most current music sucks; staying in shape is a real chore; riding my bike hurts me in places I didn't know I had; eating red meat is sometimes a bit dicey for the old digestive tract; there's a symphony of cracks and snaps in my bones when I get out of bed in the morning.

But you know, I NEVER have to take a math test! Yes, there may be crappy things about getting older, hell, most things about getting older suck ass. But I'll take 'em all because I don't have to have a geometry pop quiz, or a surprise algebra test or any of that stuff ever and I mean EVER again! Small pleasures in my dotage.

Tomorrow: Fun with spatulas.


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everything I know ...continued 130. A private dick is slang for a private detective.

131. A fogy is an old fashioned person.
to be continued...


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